I am not delighted with the Good Relationship beginnings of an acquaintance. When someone tells me that when he met someone, time stood still, and people on the street started to play a musical dance and clap, then I look and say: “We’ll see again.”
I’m not saying that because I’m snappy. Nor am I the kid in the fairy tale who got the Snow Queen’s mirror shard, but in the meantime he grew up and graduated and learned to SharekAlomre.com drink whiskey. Rather, it is due to the fact that the longer I live, the more I see that the quality of a relationship is not evidenced by the moment people met, the number of promises of love made, or even that warm feeling that arises when there is a person who matches our life. like a piece of a puzzle with thousands of pieces.
Yes, it may be enjoyable, but the real value is not in the biochemical cocktail you get when you get to know each other, but in what people will build in the years to come.
Jack London’s conclusion
I don’t know if you still read Jack London these days, but if you don’t, then you have to know that he was a great guy. Initially, he tried various jobs – he was a newsboy, a tramp, a poacher, a sailor, a gold prospector in Klondike and a reporter. As a war correspondent, he reported on the Russian-Japanese conflict of 1905 and the civil war in Mexico. Later, he began to write, and he wrote like the god of a pen. Of course, as at the beginning of the 20th century.
As a teenager with a flushed face, I read the novel “White Fang”, and a decade later, “Martin Eden.” In the end, mostly by accident, I reached for his other book. It was “Tiny Lady of the Big House”, the title of which sounds as if it was intended for the viewers of “Na Wspólnicy”, but the book is good. Its plot revolves around the perfect marriage of the owners of a huge ranch, whose relationship is put to the test when the title little lady meets her husband’s friend.
The romance is slowly blooming. The heroine, torn between curiosity and loyalty, doesn’t know who to choose. Finally, in the climactic conversation, her husband tells her what he thinks about it. It goes something like this:
– If, despite all the years you’ve spent with me, you don’t know who to choose, choose him.
With this, London hits the nail on the head, because if the mere arrival of a new person can shake the entire relationship, then the relationship is not particularly worth much. Meanwhile, due to how well you know each other and what you have experienced together, it should be the SharekAlomre other way around.
However, this is only one side of the coin. By the way, this sentence shows something else. First feelings are not a gift tied with a bow that you get once and for all. It’s more of a credit. Commitment. A chance to create something that matters.
What couples are facing the crisis?
If you are familiar with the term “seventh year crisis” (according to more recent studies it is a 3-4 year crisis), then you know that it is about when people usually break up. They are burned out. They don’t know what they’re together for. Look at the person sleeping next to him in bed and he doesn’t remind them of the one for whom they checked the phone every two minutes. The emotional ropes that connected them break one by one. Eventually they find out that they are standing on two different shores separated by the chasm.
This usually takes several years. What happens next? Another cycle begins. People break up and experience another few years of love.
For many people, this is the natural course of relationships. However, most often this situation affects couples who have forgotten. That the initial feelings and bewilderment last only for a moment. That if you want to be together longer, you have to make sure. That the relationship does not become fad. And torn like a photo watch too often, but more and more colorful, coherent, comfortable, irreplaceable.
A good relationship is always DIY
Santa Claus only brings gifts to children. Adults make gifts for themselves thanks to their work, attention and experience. So it’s no wonder that the best relationships will always be your handiwork labeled “handmade” . The contribution you need to make to a good relationship can never be achieved by “meeting the right person”. Never.
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And that, in turn, means that if you’re in a relationship it’s worth asking yourself a few questions from time to time.
Will your relationship be worth more or less with the coming years?
It burn until nothing is left of it or mature like aging whiskey?
Will you be connected by more and more things, experiences, plans and great memories or just desire turning into boredom?
And one last, perhaps most important question. What can you do with the answers to these questions to make your relationship better? .